Men really can have broken hearts too.
Women don’t have an exclusive on grief after divorce. When a marriage ends there’s plenty of heartbreak to go around.
I’ve witnessed incredible hurt with terrible regret and grief that the ending of a marriage can bring.
We are all human. No one is immune to the pain that divorce brings. We just see it and handle it in different ways.
In ways, we women are the lucky ones. We have each other. I count myself incredibly fortunate for the beautiful tribe of women that have lifted me up and carried me when I was broken and lost in the aftermath of my divorce. I could not and would never have wanted to do it without them.
Most men aren’t so lucky. Their friendships might be strong, but it can be harder for men to share the complicated grief of divorce. It is overpowering and extremely vulnerable feeling.
Other men might truly be alone on the journey of healing. They may not have the kind of friends where they can "go there" and sharing with family isn't always east. Many won’t even know how to process or even feel the complex and devastating emotions that come with the end of a marriage.
Often, the feelings will get pushed down to be handled at another time. The pain and grief postponed because they simply don’t know HOW.
How to feel, how to handle. How to cope, how to grieve. How to heal.
It is so important for men to find hope and healing too. This helps our children, helps us find closure, helps with new partnerships and hopefully helps the world have another human on this earth that is willing to step in, feel, grow and become.
To the men: have patience. Be willing to let yourself feel it all. It is your human right and is the pathway to healing. Don’t be afraid to be honest, to accept the opportunity for you too, to find yourself.
To become. To heal.
Even to find love again.
These are gifts that all of us as have access to, but you have to be willing to open the doors to start the journey.
We are rooting for you.