I am a recovering "do-er".
I was always the doer in our relationship. I am an early riser and from dawn to dusk it was go time. From a run or yoga to start the day, to cleaning up, lunches, making beds, driving kids, working all day, then activities, dinner, more cleaning and organizing, email, then bed.
Then wake up and do it all again.
No one else in the family seemed to have this urgent need to get things done, so my work was more crucial than ever. Now that I am divorced, I still drive myself hard most of the time. I am in constant motion. I don’t even know how to sit and watch a movie. I need to be folding laundry, cleaning something, anything, going through my email or reading something productive.
Watching a movie to watch a movie is not something I know how to do.
But I am missing out with all of this doing. While I am busy getting things done, everyone else is living, enjoying, resting, connecting and being. And it seems to be working for them.
I started to realize that maybe the point is not to keep getting things done all the time. There is always something else to do and we can’t keep going and doing without succumbing to exhaustion and frustration because the work never ends. Maybe when we stop doing, we can become MORE productive when we need to. And maybe then, we can DO with more focus, peace and happiness. To be our best selves, to re calibrate, reflect and recharge we need time to be still and just be. So for one day this weekend, I’m going to just be. I’m not going to catch up on email, or clean, or do laundry or go to the store or be productive in any way. I might take a nap, try to watch a movie or go have a mimosa with a friend. Then I’m sure to get nothing done!
This is my gift to myself. And I will accept it with gratitude. The gift to recharge, rest, and just be. And embrace the calm and wholeness it brings. Yes, there is so much to do. But there is also so much to be.